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“Hard work never killed anybody, but why take the chance of being first.” Edgar Bergen

Date: 10 November 2006 2:34 PM
Topic: Parking Wardens

You do all remember the big ladies, dressed in blue uniforms, who used to roam the streets of Cape Town? The one’s who used to tap on parking meters to make sure that your time was up so that they could start writing the dreaded pink ticket. Well they have similar ladies and gents here in London. These traffic wardens are dressed in a dull green, and are just as awful, butch and rude! They roam the residential areas, the industrial areas, the high streets, in fact they are seen wherever a car is potentially unlicensed or perhaps off loading.

And it is not just the cars that are at risk. Oh no.

I was on my way back from the barber shop after having a “short back and sides” and discussing the pros and cons of international travel, the Roman history show on TV and the horrible parking officials that spring out of the undergrowth fining unsuspecting motorists vast sums of money for having expired parking permits or the like. The Barber dislikes these parking officials intensely and calls them “Zulus” as they are all black and come from North Africa. His geography is obviously not that good. Now where was I again? Oh yes.

On my walk home I witnessed a giant cement mixer get ticketed. Engine still running, drum mixer still turning, about to offload it’s load, and apparently illegally parked outside a construction site. This little incident caused a huge row between the driver, site inspector and parking warden. In fact I could still hear the driver shouting obscenities (as only a construction worker can (or Ossie Osborne)) two blocks down the road. I’m not sure what the outcome of the incident is going to be, but the moral of the story is that you are better off walking. It is cheaper, better for your health and probably a lot safer than trying to communicate with the lovely green parking wardens.

I started of calling these parking wardens traffic wardens, but realised that they could not drive and therefore would be hopeless at trying to direct traffic – even though I have witnessed them attempting it.

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